A personal testimony

" I did not give you a spirit of fear, but one of love, of power, of sound mind and self-control."

2 Tim.1:7

God has laid it on my heart to have this devotional a true story and what He did for me in 1992.

When I was a child of about 8, I was bitten by a spider, which caused my leg to swell a great bit and I spent several days in the hospital. From that moment on, I had GREAT fear of spiders. I would see them regardless of their size. They could be so small that no one else would see them, but I would. This wasn't just some little ole fear. This was a fear that would have me shaking; give me cold chills; and was literally heart wrenching. It was real and it was deep.

At that time, I did not know it, but that it was satan, pointing them out to me, to keep me in that bondage of fear, because he knew as long as I was in that bondage, I would never fully know everything God had for me and I would never fully place my trust and faith in Him.

In 1992, I had just gotten to work and headed into the break-room to start coffee. Just as I walked in the door I spotted a huge spider on the floor right in front of where the coffeepot was. Now this was not a small spider. It was about 5-6 inches in diameter, legs and all.

The minute I saw it, I ducked tail and headed back out the door, just as I had done for years. When it came to spiders, one of us had to leave and always seemed to be me doing the leaving. A gripping fear would come over me so strong that I would literally shake. This was a very real thing to me. At the time, there was nothing funny about. It was the most horrible feeling.

Well, anyway. I didn't get 3 feet out the door when every cell in my body heard a loud voice say, "I did not give you a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, sound mind and self-control." I stopped right there. I don't know if there had been anyone else around, if they would have heard the Voice, but it was so loud and so strong, and so real, that there wasn't one inch of me that didn't hear it.  I don't even know if it was audible or not, but every cell in my body heard it.

Well, I knew immediately Who it was. Being the smart person that I am, I decided to tell God what that thing was in the break-room....as if He didn't already know. I said, "But God, that's a spider in there." Now I wasn't talking silently either. He replied, "I know." I said, "But God, You can't mean for me to go back in there. You know how I feel about spiders. You know I just can't be around them. I'm scared of them, Lord!" By now, my voice had already raised a few notches.

There was total silence. Again, being the smart person I am, I said, "God? Are You still there?" Nothing. Again I said, "God, You can't just leave me after telling me to go back! That's not fair. You have asked me to do something that I don't think I have in me to do. You can't just leave me." Then I heard a softer, quieter voice say, "I am with you always. I will never leave nor forsake you." I said, "I know God and I thank You, but Lord I can't do this. You say You love me, yet You are asking me to go back and face that thing, knowing how I feel. What kind of love is this?" Then again, I heard, "I did not give you a spirit of free, but one of power, love, sound mind, and self-control."

I knew then that He wasn't trying to punish me, He was trying to set me free. I said, "Okay God. But You are going to have to give me the strength to do this. You are going to have to be with me every step of the way or I will fail." With tears streaming down my face, and cold chills all over my body, I turn and went back.

When I got to the break-room doorway, that spider had not moved an inch. He was still right where he was when I first saw him. I stopped and whispered, "God, give me strength." I took a deep breath and started toward the spider. Now in my ole carnal mind, I was thinking, this thing is going to start running when I get closer to him and I'm not going to have to do a thing! I inched my way to him, but he stood his ground. When I was about two feet from him, I stopped!

I said, "God, this thing is satan himself! (I was talking out loud too) This spider should have took off by now." Yes, I really said that and I meant it too. I started getting angry. I looked at that spider and I said out my mouth, "Satan, you have kept me in this bondage of fear, long enough. I don't have fear! God did not give me fear and you are loosing your hold on me in every way, today!" Now those words sounded real good to me. But silently I was hoping they would really scare satan and that spider and him would run for the hills. But, No-o-o-o! He continued to stand his ground. Boy how I wanted to leave. But I stayed and I said, "Okay satan, this is it. I know you don't believe I can do it, but I can do ALL things through Christ, Who strengthens me."

And with that I ran over to the spider and before it could even move, I stomped him. Oh man, how cold chills were all over me when I realized what I had done. I didn't even want to move, couldn't move for a minute. Then I shouted. "Glory to God! Thank You, Jesus!!!" "Satan you are under my feet. I just smashed your head! I'm the head and your the tail. I'm above and your beneath! You are under my feet right where you belong!"

Oh how good I felt. I felt freer than I had ever felt in my life. I felt so good I went spider hunting. I went around for the longest looking for spiders to kill. I was free. Those who the Lord set free, are free indeed!!! Glory to God!!!

I learned a great lesson in this. If we allow satan to put any kind of fear on us, he can keep us in bondage and that fear can block God from doing what He wants to do for us. Fear is a form of doubt. God works by faith. Without faith it is impossible to please God. When we doubt (fear, worry) we are basically taking things into our own hands and out of the hands of God. It's when we face that fear, not just by words, but by action, then God can and will work in our behalf and give us everything we need to overcome.

We are world overcomers. We need to act like it. We need to trust God, believe Him and KNOW that He will keep every promise He has ever made. We just have to act in faith and not doubt. Face your fears today. Take them to God. Draw your strength from Him. He will be with you and free you from ALL bondage. What He did for me, He will do for you. Trust Him. Have faith in Him, whatever your circumstance is today. Whatever your fear is. Whatever your burden is. He will be faithful. He will break the yokes and set you free.   He set me free.  If He will do it for me, He will do it for you....and Whom the Son Sets Free is free indeed!

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